What I’ve learned from life coach training.

When I first heard the term ‘life coach’, I liked it. I liked the idea of helping someone to sort out their life. I thought it would be such a fulfilling mission to help improve peoples’ lives. I love improving things. But it was only recently that I saw an opportunity to do the training, and so, I embarked…. Wonderful, I’m finally going to be getting people to reach their potential. Oh what an innocent person I can be sometimes.

One of the first things I learned was: We don’t advise or tell people what to do!

This was a blow! I cannot tell people what to do, I thought that was how I was going to improve people. Instead, I learned that people improve themselves. This resonated, I knew it was true and right, and it started to help me shift my own perspective of what input I can have in others’ lives. This was the start of me learning a lot about myself, my awareness and the ways which I go about my life.

Those who coach others’ must first be coaching themselves.

A coach will guide someone by using questions, and gently challenging answers so as to aid a person find their own solutions. This sounds pretty simple but I learned it is quite complex. I learned: People will likely only grow and change if they have a mindset of growth.

This led be to remember my days of being an English language and communication coach. Although, that was my job title, I spent my time with my students focused on teaching them all the knowledge I could muster about English and communication. I never focused on the idea of being a coach. I remember having students that were so determined not to improve, not to try any of the exercises, and just generally trying to tell me they were hopeless. Now, I understand exactly what was going on.

A growth mindset is a can-do attitude, it is an empowered choosing position. If you don’t feel that, things become complex. I learned: Awareness of our self-talk and inner critic is the first step to start changing excuses and disempowerment.

There are more steps too. This is hard, it’s can be a really tough thing to get to a position of choice and empowerment. We all have an inner critic, so we all struggle with this. Many, including myself, have an inner ‘you are not good enough’ voice.

The truth is if we don’t do something …that’s a choice.

Finally, something I have learned is: I need to focus a little less on ‘improving’ others, and a little more on making sure I am choosing the right life for me. I don’t know as much as I thought I did, about what is right for each person. I do know that I what I am learning, is fascinating and I am excited about having much gentler and kinder approaches with the people that I come across. Let me know if you have anything else to add to this subject, I would be delighted to know.

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